Wednesday, October 30, 2013

On Those Who Judge, Continued

Wow, the kids have been keeping me busy. Also, Destructo's Halloween costume. I'm making it myself. More on that later. This is a follow up to my other blog entry, which you can read here.

So. As I mentioned in the last entry, Destructo and I had a late night. When he goes to bed around 3 AM he would often crash until 11 AM. I awoke the next morning to Destructo's godmother coming into our bedroom and telling me not to freak out when I got out of bed, that she was taking Destructo and I out after I saw what was on Facebook.

This, was in my inbox.

The names are of course blocked out, but Red Person also copied Destructo's godmother and the wife of one of our mutual friends. Destructo's godmother is a special education teacher. The second person is a mother who saw the comment the night before. The second person, replied first.

I didn't reply until several hours later, as can be seen by the time stamp. Destructo and I went out with Destructo's godmother, because she's awesome and she knew I was under enough stress as it was. Also, I didn't want to fly off the handle at the jerk, either.

Destructo's godmother stays out of the group conversation. Red person came back with the following, which I didn't dignify with a response, and if I had--it would have been everything I included in my previous blog entry on this topic.

I will admit I am still steaming a bit about it, maybe it's because I expect this person to realize how far their head is up their rear end and apologize to me. On another level, I know that will never happen. Sometime in the next year after this, I became friends with MommaDe, who also knew Red Person, basically due to our overlapping social circles.

On the other hand, I also feel sorry for Red Person. I have no idea what they're doing with their life now, and I mostly don't care. But--I do worry for those in his future. What if there is a special needs child in his future? Let's do a thought experiment. Red Person uses the generic term "issues." And when I've been thinking about this blog this occurred to me: how does it sound when you replace "issues" with a solid diagnosis? Mind you, the whole point of my previous entry was that all signs were pointing to Autism.

NO ONE is going to care about his issues but you and him. NO ONE is going to care about his Autism but you and him. NO ONE is going to care about his Cystic Fibrosis but you and him. NO ONE is going to care about his Diabetes but you and him. NO ONE is going to care about his Down Syndrome but you and him. NO ONE is going to care about his Manic Depression but you and him.

And this, this is what worries me should this person become a parent one day. Because if this is how this person's mind works, I fear for the quality of life of their child should they have a lifelong medical need. Am I over-reacting? I don't know. I'm extrapolating with the information I have, and this is the conclusion I came to.

1 comment:

  1. Don't apologize. Unless you are a special needs parent, there is 0 that should be added to the conversation. A friend of mine pointed out that saying "you're not a parent so your judgements, advice, comments, etc. mean nothing" can be harsh, especially if that person wants to be a parent someday or have tried and failed at conception. I see her point, but if all that person has to offer is a douchey attitude and condescending comments, then their advice lacks founded backbone. You really don't know what it's like until you have your own kid. And I agree with you, I hope Red never breeds. This world has enough pricks raising angry kids. We don't need another